Hitting a Wall

Blogging is the closest that I can get into writing, so I sign up when a scholarship opens up. I always wanted to be a writer since I can remember. 

Boy, I thought the first task was tough. I stressed myself on something easier than the next module. The program has three modules. The first one is the basics of blogging and then working with other bloggers. The last module is unclear to me because I haven't passed the second one. I am somewhat stuck on the Professional Blogging part. 

Then I diverted to another way to monetize a blog through affiliate marketing, which I thought was a bit easier than finishing the course. I also applied and got approved for AdSense. 

Seven months into blogging, I hit a wall. I stood there savoring my loss. I failed. I never got the result that I wanted. The outcome of all my hard work broke me. I failed to earn. I am not hitting my target; no one is reading my blog, and I lost enthusiasm. No one bought through my affiliate links for me to earn a commission without charging more of what is already priced. 

However, I want to see myself successful. When I say successful, I mean earning at least a thousand dollars a month through blogging and affiliate marketing. Dollars are my key performance indicator. So, I told myself that I am still capable of doing whatever it takes to reach my goal. Not every day is a Monday and I need to be a better version of myself. Yesterday is history. 

I always wanted to start fresh, but at this point in my life, I can only continue. Every time I read my piece, I always settle on what is the safest thing to do. The one, that has less rejection. 

It's enough. I want to be the woman I always wanted to be. Independent. I want to live the life that I always imagine. So, I do simple workouts again. I went back to my business model canvass to see what to improve. Most of all, I dwell on my depression for some time but shook them off. It is okay to wallow on the pain but I need to move on. Crying helped. I am the master of myself. I always choose how to end my story. This may pass but I want to look back at this moment as one of my success stories. 

I want to share this story of mine to inspire you. I am not here to tell you what to do because I am pretty sure that you exactly know what you should do. Sometimes, we delay the inevitable. In my case, I wished for a miracle, yet I need to face the reality that maybe, I did not work that hard to achieve my goal.