Choosing to Live

Mental health is as important as our meal each day. 

At the onset of this pandemic, I wanted to go out. It is my choice to wear a mask. It is my choice to be infected or not. Unfortunately, the World Health Organization (WHO) said that COVID19 can be transmitted through respiratory droplets expelled by someone who is coughing or has other symptoms such as fever or tiredness. WHO also mentioned that here are some reports that people without symptoms can transmit the virus. Although WHO is still assessing the intel it is still something that I need to consider. I want to see my kids grow up and have kids of their own. I want to win a battle with something that I see. 

I chose to stay at home. 

Staying at home entails a lot of sacrifices and more than ever, hard work. 

We are in our fourth week. One day, I woke up and decided that I am still alive, with complete organs. I will choose to be strong and healthy, emotionally, and mentally. 

I decided to stick with what I have right now and what I can do. To make me occupied, I started being active on Twitter. I read tweets that make me smile. I follow positive-minded people who write. Another thing that I started doing is writing. I continued blogging despite the headache and the stress that this pandemic caused. I joined free training online done through Facebook live. I just have to find things to make me busy and refrain from thinking about negative kinds of stuff about this whole situation. 

Somehow, my mind has lapses. I still think of how are we going to recover from a month-long of no work nor income. But I am bigger than this. Right now I need to stay healthy, mind, and soul, that I may have the strength to face tomorrow. 

The first three days were challenging. I started panicking when they started canceling classes. I bought a week worth of supplies, foods, and toiletries. Then, a mention of lockdown for Metro Manila. I bought additional provisions for at least three weeks. 

March 15th is the commencement of the lockdown, and there was a wedding to attend to on the 14th. A wedding planned in two years. 

It was Saturday. The usual traffic is brutal, but not this day. I felt agitated. I didn't know if I will be happy or be worried. We reach our destination just in time. We left Tagaytay around 8 PM to at least cross the Manila border by midnight. 

Though I love the adrenalin of beating something, I am wondering what would happen if we did not cross the border by midnight. 

Came Sunday, we were still tired, but I have to do some fieldwork, so we leave for Pampanga. There were fewer cars on the road. It seemed like driving during a Good Friday. We pass through an old church, but the gate was close. We end the day looking forward to a better Monday. 

I printed my husband proof of employment in Valenzuela City so he may pass through the border. It was supposedly a worry-free routine. 

Tuesday, my husband and I meet on Puregold because we need to buy rice for a month and additional supplies for my parents. I was lucky to be early. Around five, there was a long line of grocers on the main door. Halfway, we received a call that we need to get my cousin out of Valenzuela City because all establishments will be close. We headed back to the boundary.

I was alone in the car and saw people walking. As strong as I might, tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't believe the whole situation. 

Let's connect on Twitter. Let's share photos on Instagram. Contact me on Facebook to know more about me. Godspeed.